Kenyans once again take on Mugabe and "his" quotes

Kenyans are at it again. This time round they are on twitter sharing quotes attributed to their “Favorite” punch bag president Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe with the hashtag #PopularMugabesQuotes.

All manner of sayings and quotes have been attributed to Bob in the past raging from those with a sexual annotation to leadership and those laboring on racism in relation to his ever thawing relationship with the whites.

There is no doubt that Mugabe is a wisecrack and sometimes listening to him is more rib cracking than watching a comedy show on TV.

What is more true however is the fact that more than ¾ of the quotes attributed to him are not his but Kenyans have learnt that attributing them to him gives them more weight. And again, at his advanced age, he’s allowed to “say” some things the younger leaders cannot. Just like the way we let Kibaki get away with all manner of unpalatable words like “Pumbafu” and “Mavi ya kuku”and just smiled.

Sample:

Here are some of the quotes that have been shared on twitter attributed to President Mugabe………

Ø  If Obama want gaysm and lesbianism to be allowed in Africa, he must first get married to me

Ø  These homosexuals are worse than dogs & pigs.

Ø  As long as you are not using your dick to think fuck any good juicy opportunity that comes on your way

Ø  Only God who appointed me will remove me

Ø  If they only text you when its raining My sister you are an umbrella and a duvet

Ø  Corruption is more common in Kenya than COMMON SENSE.

Ø  Exposing your cleavage won't fix yo ugly face bitch!

Ø  Their is no need of you using a condom if you are uncircumcised just tie a knot at the end of your foreskin

Ø  When a crocodile throws you towards the land instead of the deep waters, do you go back fishing?

Ø  Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the Devil comes along and gives you a *girlfriend

Ø  A cigarette is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a paper with a fire on one side and A FOOL on the other side

Ø  God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker...

Ø  The only white man you can trust is one that is lying on the grave 

Ø  It's better for a man to be stingy with money he worked for than a lady to deny you a hole she did not even drill

Ø  Swimming pool is much more useful than the Liverpool football club

Ø  Check your girlfriend's body, if she has more tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.

Ø  If you are ugly; you are ugly - stop talking about inner beauty because we don't walk around with X-rays

Ø  God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker

Ø  Ladies are powerful, they can introduce 2 boyfriends at the same time. They will say My Love meet My Sweet heart.

Ø  Some women's legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading

Ø  I did not say all this shit!

Ø  Dating a slender guy is cool. The problem is when u are lying on his chest then his ribs draw adidas lines on your face

Ø  Cigarette Is a pinch of tobacco rolled in a piece of paper with fire on one end and a fool on the other end....

Ø  The size of a woman's ass is indirectly proportional to the size of her brain

Ø  We can only see the cock's anus when the wind blows.

Ø  Dear sister, don't be deceived by a man who text you "I miss you" only when it's raining. You are not an umbrella

To get more of these hilarious quotes, follow the hashtag #PopularMugabesQuotes on Twitter

  

Youth and organized groups contribute to over 70% violence in Nakuru

Youth and organized groups contributed to 73% of all violence occurring in Nakuru Town according to a report launched on Thursday in a Nakuru Hotel.

The launch

The report titled “Urban Violence in Nakuru: A research report on root causes, risk factors, and preventive strategies” is a result of a research that was carried out in four urban estates in Nakuru town.

The report showed that 37% of the violence perpetrators were the youth and 36% by organized groups. Assuming that the youth constituted most members of the organized groups, it emerges that over 70% of violence is metted out by young people.

The research that was carried out in Bondeni, Freearea, London and Kaptembwa estates also identified violence perpetrated in the domestic sphere and by police with 18% and 5% respondents respectively.

According to Mr. Luchetu Likaka the lead researcher in the program, the research had involved 680 households picked at random.

Mr. Henry Kiambati DCIO Nakuru who has participated in the project activities officially launched the report.

The research was a partnership between Midrift Human Rights Network which is an NGO based in Nakuru, the Danish Institute against Torture (DIGNITY) and the Independent Medico-Legal Unit (IMLU).

According to Likaka, the research showed that a lot of people do not trust the local initiative son security.

“It emerged that a lot of people do not trust the County Peace Committees and the Nyumba Kumi initiative with mistrust levels at 75.7% and 47% respectively,” said Mr. Likaka.

How grabbers have shared the Moi Primary school Land

Kenyans have an insatiable appetite for land. They kill their own kin for ownership and when there is no one to kill, they out rightly grab public land.

The grabbed house that used to house the Headteacher and a shoddily constructed wall that collapsed

On 26^th November 2010, the then lands minister James Orengo revoked 13 title deeds of parcels of land that had been grabbed from Moi Primary School in Nakuru. However, six years later the grabbers show no signs of moving out of the land fraudulently acquired.

Some of the occupants of the plots are Dr. Alvuvara who is a pediatrician based in Nakuru, former councilor Gitu of Nakuru municipality and retired teacher Angelica Kivuva among others.

Moi Primary school, according to a certificate of lease, initially owned 13 acres of land but two acres where the teachers’ quarter’s stood have since been grabbed.

The Gazette Notice

The headteacher's residence which was being occupied by the first headteacher at the school since 1977 was grabbed by powerful business people and former politicians and the two-acre piece of land fenced off.

Pupils of Moi Primary planting trees on the remaining land

The former servant quarters is now being occupied by the former kanjora Gitu who keeps cows and does dairy farming. His efforts to encroach on the school land are yet to be quenched as he continues to grab inch by inch.

The school has a population of 2000 pupils and 45 TSC teachers. Currently, there are no teachers residing within the school although there are about 450 pupils who are boarding there. The pupils cannot get enough security as no teacher lives within the school.

Determined to make a living out of sports betting

With jobs becoming more and harder to come by, enterprising youths have been forced to turn to new ways to earn a living.

One of the most popular means of late in the whole country and especially in Nakuru is the online sports betting platform Sportpesa.

More and more young men and women are getting into the exciting betting system which has seen some of them make some good returns out of the system.

“I started betting on Sportpesa when my friend and former school mate bet just a hundred bob and won thirty thousand,” says Alfred Kitur from Kapkures area in Nakuru West. He admits he’s yet to net “a big one” but has won a few token prizes over time.

John Kabugi a university graduate from Rhoda and says he’s making a career out of it.

“I’ve been job hunting for so long now that once I discovered Sportpesa, it was a kind of a life line for me. I’ve had several winnings with the highest amount being 12k and am always optimistic of a big win,” says Kabugi who adds that he approaches all his bets with an analytical mind.

“I and my friends have formed a WhatsApp group where we analyze the upcoming games and share tips. We have had some lucky breaks for some of us but also some huge losses,” admits the soft spoken graduate.

The betting is not only a reserve for men. A few women have also started betting but none could openly admit.

“I do it once in a while,” admits an M-Pesa attendant in Pondamali area who asked to be identified only as Judy. She adds that she has never won but the thrill of betting and the stories of others winning keeps her going. Like the rest, she believes she’ll win big one day.

“Who knows, maybe one day I just might win the jackpot,” says Judy with a smile.

Former teacher smiling all the way to the bank after taking up farming

Mr. Mungai a former teacher is now a happy and satisfied farmer who left his teaching career to venture into farming.

On his 50 x 100 piece of plot, the former teacher has undertaken dairy and poultry keeping and can now smile all the way to the bank.

"My income as a teacher was only enough to take care of my basic needs. I am doing far much better now as a farmer than I could even have imagined as a teacher," reveals the happy Mr. Mungai who practices modern farming methods.

Mr. Mungai says that making the right choices combined with an excellent strategy is the oxygen upon which success depends.

He advises and encourages any upcoming farmer to learn with experts and they will never regret.

Youth complain of police harassment

Youth in Nakuru East Ward in Nakuru West sub-county have decried the harassment by police officers terming it as an unfair treatment.

Participants during the Prevention of Urban Violence at Freearea Social Hall

Speaking at Freearea Social Hall on Friday during an Urban Violence Prevention workshop, the youth who formed a large percent of those in attendance complained that they are misunderstood and judged and treated unfairly by the community and authorities.

“As a member of an entertainment troupe, my dressing hair and dressing style may be different from the norm but this does not mean am a criminal,” complained Benson Kimani who leads an entertainment group in the area.

Kimani further added that many of the functions they attend are held at night so they should not be termed as lazy idlers if they are free during the day.

“Sometimes we have functions that run the whole weekend up to Wednesday and when you find us talking in the streets, it’s not that we are lazy, we’ve worked and are now catching up with our social life,” added Kimani.

Another young man, Samuel Mburu said that sometimes high school students have to be in school up to around 6:30 PM and they sometimes get home after 7:00 PM.

“I was once arrested and spent the whole night in the police cell when I met police in patrol. I was still in my school uniform and had my school bag with me but the police officers did not want to reason with me. I was only released in the morning without charges and went to school very late,” lamented Samuel.

The Urban Violence Forum was organized by the Midrift Human Rights Network in conjunction with the local administration including Nyumba Kumi leaders and the police.

In attendance were members of the civil society, area chief, assistant county commissioner and senior police bosses from the area.

CDF money used in construction of the only Secondary school in Rhoda Ward

Mwariki Secondary Schoool

Mwariki secondary school has received a total of over Kshs. 10 million from the National Government Constituencies Development Fund since it was started in 2012 according to the school principal Mr. Peter Gitau.

Speaking during the annual school PTA meeting at the school which is situated in Mwariki area, Rhoda Ward, Nakuru Town West constituency. The money according to the principal, has been spent in putting up eight classes in the only government secondary school in the area.

The classes constructed using CDF money

“The cash received from the CDF was used in the construction of 8 classrooms out of the total 10 that we have. The two extra classrooms which are currently under construction are being funded through the development fee that the parents pay annually,” revealed the principal.

I take this opportunity on behalf of the entire Mwariki secondary school fraternity to thank our area MP Hon. Samuel Arama although not present today who has really supported the construction of the school through the CDF,” said the principal.

The principal Mr. Peter Gitau addressing guests

At the same time, the principal thanked the area MCA Hon. Macharia Gachiri who was present at the event for consistently awarding bursaries to the needy students in the school.

“Last year alone, the students received bursaries of upto Kshs. 400,000 and I take this opportunity to express our gratitude on behalf of the students and parents,” the principal concluded.

In his speech, the MCA revealed that his bursary kitty still had a balance of kshs. 20,000 for this financial year and asked that four of the most needy students from the school should apply for the money.